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Our secondary emotion of anger –

We have all experienced anger. Anger is a human emotion; some deny it, suppress it, ignore it, avoid it, and run from it. Others express it freely when ever they feel it, slamming doors, making unkind gestures, yelling, breaking things, even causing physical damage. But what is Anger all about?

Anger is a response to feeling threatened. It is part of the fight or flight response and kicks in when one feels they, their loved ones, their property (territory) or their very survival is threatened. Anger can be a very destructive emotion whether or not you freely express it, but if you understand the emotion and know how to manage it, it can become a very powerful asset.

It is helpful to understand that anger is a secondary emotion, in other words, anger is the result of feeling vulnerable: hurt, humiliated, scared, rejected or frustrated. Instead of expressing our vulnerable feelings (making us even more vulnerable) we don the mask of anger in an effort to protect ourselves: we “rouse the great dragon of rage”.

Knowing this, we can have a very different way of understanding and dealing with our own anger and the anger of others. When you are feeling within yourself or observing in others the metabolic responses associated with anger: red face, blood pressure rising, eye balls popping out, nostrils flaring and all other evidence of rage…..magic pause it…..train yourself to understand that you have roused the great dragon of rage, putting up a smoke screen of furry in order to protect deep sensitivities. Give that dragon the respect it deserves, it is a fearless warrior sent out on a great mission; to protect the vulnerable, delicate, sensitive and wounded child within.

Understanding the dragon metaphor can shift these hard, destructive and volatile energies in a most profound way, now you are able to see in yourself and others the wounded, innocent and hurting child. Instead of seeing the furry, you now can envision a helpless infant, crying out with the agony of an exposed underbelly of hurt. Now you are less likely to match someone else’s anger with anger, you are less likely to continue on your own fit of rage. You are now ready to address the real and vulnerable feelings below the surface. This is the art of taming the great dragon and although it may seem very simple, it takes quite a bit of practice before you can actually succeed.

Some questions that can be helpful in these times are: “What wound is being open?” “How am I feeling vulnerable?” “What triggered the great dragon?” “What work do I need to do in order to address my feelings of vulnerability?” “How did this situation make me feel vulnerable?” “How and why am I feeling afraid, attacked, offended, disrespected, forced, trapped, or pressured?”

The arousal of the great dragon, or, anger surfacing, can be a sign post for you, showing you the kind of work you need to do for your own personal growth.

Explore The Process Of Anger